Hey! I go to UChicago, where I'm majoring in Gender and Sexuality Studies and maybe possibly Public Policy? 20. She/Her/Her pronouns. Queer. I usually call myself a lesbian but have a lot of feelz/ambivalence about the term that I can explain to you at length if you care (Hint: it relates to the gender binary). ENFP. I have race, class, able-bodied, neurotypical, and cis (probably??) privilege. I really like Nutella. I blog a combination of social justice stuff, funny gifs and textposts, cool artsy stuff, pictures of people I personally think are hot, melodramatic angsty posts about my life, random miscellaneous shit, and half-coherent drunk posts about wanting to get laid that I inevitably delete in the morning. I'm less embarrassed by my dragon collection then I pretend to be. I try to properly tag anything that might be triggering, but definitely call me out if I miss anything or reblog/post anything that's problematic or gross in any way!


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Jul 21, 2014
@ 8:24 pm
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desmondkilometers:

do you ever see a person you used to be friends with and you’re like “glad i got the fuck outta that one”

(Source: hitchups, via captainqueeg)


Photo

Jul 21, 2014
@ 7:55 pm
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1,491 notes

janetmock:

Three years ago, I first told my story in Marie Claire. Today, I am proud to announce that I am joining the magazine’s editorial team as a Contributing Editor. In my role, I will write for the print and online versions of the magazine, act as a brand ambassador and contribute insight and ideas about culture and beauty, politics and pop culture.

janetmock:

Three years ago, I first told my story in Marie Claire. Today, I am proud to announce that I am joining the magazine’s editorial team as a Contributing Editor. In my role, I will write for the print and online versions of the magazine, act as a brand ambassador and contribute insight and ideas about culture and beauty, politics and pop culture.

(via dyslexya)


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Jul 21, 2014
@ 7:53 pm
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226,531 notes

sheep-girl:

teenage girls actually have to go through a lot of bullshit and the fact that it’s considered cool to make fun of them for being upset or emotional is kind of gross

(via thegreatgourd)


Link

Jul 21, 2014
@ 9:27 am
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12 notes

http://waterloggedtomorrow.tumblr.com/post/92410209748/vespa-amazonia-replied-to-your-post-yes-i-also-and »

bindingaffinity:

aberrantalacrity:

waterloggedtomorrow:

yeah it’s complicated and one doesn’t want to say ‘YOU ARE BEING TRANS WRONG’ because that would be truscum douchecanoodlery but like that is adjacent to a sentiment one does feel and with reason, maybe…

Hmm so. As a (currently??) cis woman who’s started to think a bit more about my gender things recently, this discussion is v interesting/ important to me…

In particular and, this kinda relates to/ repeats things Lee’s said, but it seems like one way in which experiences of transness can be divided up is between people who identify as trans (binary or non-binary) because their experiences trying to conform to/being treated as their assigned gender is spectacularly shitty. So identifying not with that assigned gender kinda comes out of “necessity” (although that’s complicated because lots of people who feel really shitty with their assigned gender don’t ever identify as trans because they don’t know that’s A Thing/ aren’t in a life situation where anyone would respect such an identity/ etc), not a “gender is so fun to play with” sentiment. 

But then, there are also (mostly non-binary, it seems) trans people who feel like they could have gone their whole lives being cis and been mostly/kinda ok. So they identify as trans because they feel that identity makes their lives better/would be a good/positive/beneficial way for them to identify…and like, I definitely have some close trans friends who experience their transness closer to that way then the first way…and like, if I ever ever do end up identifying as Not Cis, it would also be in this way.

(Oh and then also, to address rigorandvigor's point, there are also people for who identifying as trans would feel wrong/inaccurate/worse than being cis, and those people shouldn't identify as trans and realistically won't)

(Also I realize this whole Two Ways thing is an oversimplification and, ironically, a binary, but. I think it’s still useful/relevant for this particular discussion.)

And like? I definitely definitely think the second way is a super valid way of being trans!! Especially since, more and more people are identifying as trans then ever before, and I feel like that’s super exciting and positive and should be encouraged? Like, the more and more people there are not identifying with their assigned gender, the closer we’ll be to overthrowing/fucking/destroying the binary/assigned gender/gender assumptions/etc (and I mean obviously we are currently Not Close At All to those things happening, even though shit will likely get significantly better in our lifetimes). And while I don’t think people should identify as trans out of a sense of duty or obligation, I also don’t think people ~choosing~ to be trans because they want to is at all a bad thing? And to say otherwise would be promoting a weird “Born this Way” narrative/ be some gross gatekeeper-ing.

 BUT, it is tricky because trans people in that second category do sort of have advantages (privileges??) over people in the first category, which are not at all insignificant, and which I feel are very rarely talked about/acknowledged? On the one hand I  almost feel like there should be a word/way to distinguish between people who are “trans because otherwise my life would be ~incredibly~ shitty and miserable” and those who are “trans because this makes my life better”…BUT, on the other hand I really dislike that idea because I feel like it risks creating a hierarchy of who’s “”more trans”” and who’s “”not trans enough”“, which is gross? Especially since the friends I have who fall into that second category already tend to have anxiety about not being “”trans enough”” or whatever. So. I dunno, this seems tricky.

Also everyone please let me know if I said anything gross or shitty!! I am cis right now even if I’m not 100% certain I’ll be cis forever, so I still totally have cis privilege.

waterloggedtomorrow vespa-amazonia hcxm cynthianixonofficial (sorry, you weren’t part of this discussion at all, but I know you’ve said interesting things related to this topic before so I was interested in your opinion about this? You don’t have to comment at all, of course)

I think that there is a major disadvantage typically (but not always) associated with the first group and typically (but not always) not associated with the second group, namely the necessity of accessing medical and legal aspects of transition and also of being open about one’s gender among potentially unfriendly or unsympathetic cis people. Like, this is something I have to do to be comfortable. These encompass certain needs for me (coming out to coworkers, legal name/gender change on ID, hormones, surgery), and they’re needs that have for the most part gone unfulfilled. And I feel like it’s sort of weird for people to be talking about trans identity in general without taking any of these things into account. I mean, I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all about being like, “being trans would improve my life in X, Y, and Z ways despite the fact that I have no pressing need for medicolegal transition so imma do it” but there is something wrong about, I guess, advertising being trans as if medical and legal aspects of transition are easy or the people who need them are irrelevant to trans discourse.


Text

Jul 21, 2014
@ 8:53 am
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634 notes

alonethyme:

do you ever wonder how people describe you to other people who have never met you


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Jul 21, 2014
@ 7:23 am
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12 notes

http://waterloggedtomorrow.tumblr.com/post/92410209748/vespa-amazonia-replied-to-your-post-yes-i-also-and »

waterloggedtomorrow:

yeah it’s complicated and one doesn’t want to say ‘YOU ARE BEING TRANS WRONG’ because that would be truscum douchecanoodlery but like that is adjacent to a sentiment one does feel and with reason, maybe…

Hmm so. As a (currently??) cis woman who’s started to think a bit more about my gender things recently, this discussion is v interesting/ important to me…

In particular and, this kinda relates to/ repeats things Lee’s said, but it seems like one way in which experiences of transness can be divided up is between people who identify as trans (binary or non-binary) because their experiences trying to conform to/being treated as their assigned gender is spectacularly shitty. So identifying not with that assigned gender kinda comes out of “necessity” (although that’s complicated because lots of people who feel really shitty with their assigned gender don’t ever identify as trans because they don’t know that’s A Thing/ aren’t in a life situation where anyone would respect such an identity/ etc), not a “gender is so fun to play with” sentiment. 

But then, there are also (mostly non-binary, it seems) trans people who feel like they could have gone their whole lives being cis and been mostly/kinda ok. So they identify as trans because they feel that identity makes their lives better/would be a good/positive/beneficial way for them to identify…and like, I definitely have some close trans friends who experience their transness closer to that way then the first way…and like, if I ever ever do end up identifying as Not Cis, it would also be in this way.

(Oh and then also, to address rigorandvigor's point, there are also people for who identifying as trans would feel wrong/inaccurate/worse than being cis, and those people shouldn't identify as trans and realistically won't)

(Also I realize this whole Two Ways thing is an oversimplification and, ironically, a binary, but. I think it’s still useful/relevant for this particular discussion.)

And like? I definitely definitely think the second way is a super valid way of being trans!! Especially since, more and more people are identifying as trans then ever before, and I feel like that’s super exciting and positive and should be encouraged? Like, the more and more people there are not identifying with their assigned gender, the closer we’ll be to overthrowing/fucking/destroying the binary/assigned gender/gender assumptions/etc (and I mean obviously we are currently Not Close At All to those things happening, even though shit will likely get significantly better in our lifetimes). And while I don’t think people should identify as trans out of a sense of duty or obligation, I also don’t think people ~choosing~ to be trans because they want to is at all a bad thing? And to say otherwise would be promoting a weird “Born this Way” narrative/ be some gross gatekeeper-ing.

 BUT, it is tricky because trans people in that second category do sort of have advantages (privileges??) over people in the first category, which are not at all insignificant, and which I feel are very rarely talked about/acknowledged? On the one hand I  almost feel like there should be a word/way to distinguish between people who are “trans because otherwise my life would be ~incredibly~ shitty and miserable” and those who are “trans because this makes my life better”…BUT, on the other hand I really dislike that idea because I feel like it risks creating a hierarchy of who’s “”more trans”” and who’s “”not trans enough”“, which is gross? Especially since the friends I have who fall into that second category already tend to have anxiety about not being “”trans enough”” or whatever. So. I dunno, this seems tricky.

Also everyone please let me know if I said anything gross or shitty!! I am cis right now even if I’m not 100% certain I’ll be cis forever, so I still totally have cis privilege.

waterloggedtomorrow vespa-amazonia hcxm cynthianixonofficial (sorry, you weren’t part of this discussion at all, but I know you’ve said interesting things related to this topic before so I was interested in your opinion about this? You don’t have to comment at all, of course)


Link

Jul 21, 2014
@ 12:25 am
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12 notes

http://waterloggedtomorrow.tumblr.com/post/92410209748/vespa-amazonia-replied-to-your-post-yes-i-also-and »

waterloggedtomorrow:

yeah it’s complicated and one doesn’t want to say ‘YOU ARE BEING TRANS WRONG’ because that would be truscum douchecanoodlery but like that is adjacent to a sentiment one does feel and with reason, maybe…

Link

Jul 21, 2014
@ 12:25 am
Permalink
8 notes

http://waterloggedtomorrow.tumblr.com/post/92409009713/yes-i-also-and-this-is-sort-of-in-response-to »

waterloggedtomorrow:

Yes I also and this is sort of in response to Cali’s reblog of Paul’s reblog of that post

feel sort of weird about people who id as demi whatevers and use binary pronouns and for all intents and purposes pass as cis in their day to day lives and are also not?? Bothered at all by that?

And I’m…


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Jul 21, 2014
@ 12:22 am
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52 notes

Anonymous said: why would you choose not to be cis if you were comfortable with your assigned gender? i agree with you i'd just be interested in your reasoning

waterloggedtomorrow:

rigorandvigor:

askanonbinary:

Some things off the top of my head (not an exhaustive list)

  1. Because being trans and/or nonbinary is awesome
  2. And none of the things that you point to when you say “this makes me a man/woman” are intrinsic to men or women save your identifying as that thing
  3. Choosing not to be cis doesn’t mean you have to ‘give up’ anything in particular about being a man or a woman
  4. Identities like demigirl, demiboy, nanogirl, nanoboy, etc. exist
  5. By choosing not to be cis you go from harming a lot of people as a default to being a member of the group that by its very existence erodes the false and harmful construct of binary sex/gender
  6. I am personally more likely to be your friend which is, lets face it, pretty damn cool

—Beck

Hm. As a cis male who has never considered himself otherwise, this has a bad smell to it. Part of it I’m sure is a jealous guarding of the advantages of being cis, but beyond that this somehow seems wrong.

Tomorrow I say I’m not a man, but keep on having a man’s mentality, a man’s dress, a man’s look, a man’s habits. And most importantly — most people continue to see me as a man and treat me as a man.

It wouldn’t sound quite right. It would look like I’m ignoring something.

Okay yeah I think there are sort of two things that need to be equally acknowledged, and which are not the most compatible of ideas.

The first is the sort of point of this post, which is that gender the way people generally conceive of it is bullshit and also harms literally everyone. And people should all stop and look at gender as something to explore and consider, regardless of whether or not they can get by as cis in their day-to-day life.

But then also there’s this thing where, clearly, some people can live as cis, can go through their whole life thinking of themselves one way, and even if they sometimes think about not being cis, it’s not something important enough to ever address. And then some people can’t. Because. It feels shitty. Is an understatement, but. Right. ~~~~~transness~~~~~. And so we also have to acknowledge that there’s that disconnect there, and it’s not nearly so binary as I made it out to be, right, but there are people whose experiences of gender are condoned and rewarded by Our Society, or whatever, and there are people whose genders are not. And that is a distinction which we need to be aware of because of privilege things and because it’s. Relevant to our day-to-day lives?? Right.

And so we want to be all “yes everyone look at gender differently you are Probs not cis because what is cisness even really” but then also we need to consider that there’s all of this social pressure that needs to be taken into account, and it’s. More complicated. Than the thing. Okay. This was not as clearly phrased as it could have been, but. Yes.


Text

Jul 21, 2014
@ 12:22 am
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52 notes

Anonymous said: why would you choose not to be cis if you were comfortable with your assigned gender? i agree with you i'd just be interested in your reasoning

vespa-amazonia:

askanonbinary:

Some things off the top of my head (not an exhaustive list)

  1. Because being trans and/or nonbinary is awesome
  2. And none of the things that you point to when you say “this makes me a man/woman” are intrinsic to men or women save your identifying as that thing
  3. Choosing not to be cis doesn’t mean you have to ‘give up’ anything in particular about being a man or a woman
  4. Identities like demigirl, demiboy, nanogirl, nanoboy, etc. exist
  5. By choosing not to be cis you go from harming a lot of people as a default to being a member of the group that by its very existence erodes the false and harmful construct of binary sex/gender
  6. I am personally more likely to be your friend which is, lets face it, pretty damn cool

—Beck

hang on just a damn second tho

i was tracking, more or less, until #5, and then [record scratch] because - and it’s possible i’m just misreading here - it seems to state that identifying as cis, ~in and of itself~, harms trans people. which, like, isn’t actually true? cisnormativity harms trans people but there isn’t a straight line between id-ing as cis and being cisnormative? this seems really obvious to me, i dunno.

and there seems to be this weird undercurrent of ‘the most important factor in your personal identity is its political impact,’ and, no. no no no no GOD no. the entire point of queer/transness - at least for me - is figuring out what works for me and then doing it. and if what worked for me had been some variety of cisgender identity, then i would be doing that, because i am not gonna falsify myself for political reasons. you wouldn’t ask binary-identified trans folk to ID as nonbinary for the political impact, right? please say you wouldn’t do that. figuring out identity isn’t a matter of ‘what is the most revolutionary identity i can have’ but an ongoing process of ‘what do  want? who do i want to be? who am i? what does that mean?’

and with regard to #6, well, i can’t speak to my coolness relative to the OP but i will tell you that someone who identified as nonbinary solely because they thought it was their duty to do so would freak me the fuck out. on the other hand, if you have undergone a hell of a lot of thoughtful soul-searching to arrive at your identity, and are working it out as conscientiously and honestly as you can, then i probably would like to be your friend, cis or trans.

tl;dr don’t feel trans? don’t ID that way, and more power to you.